21 Comments
User's avatar
Allie Lazar's avatar

Oh, so you’re a comedian now too? Ok Seinfeld

Nicholas Gill's avatar

Did I tell you the one about the Argentine and the Chilean that sit down at a bar in La Paz?

Allie Lazar's avatar

What’s the deal with cuy??

Coffee Axis Living's avatar

It's a rodent (hamster?) that is raised and barbecued in the South of Colombia, Ecuador and Peru - tastes like chicken! Personally, I prefer bunny rabbit.

Peter Meng's avatar

Nicely done. You should write satire more frequently. But only if you’ve done stand up and staged at SNL

Andrés Morataya's avatar

hahaha brilliant. Cooks should cook, writers should write and bored people with nothing to do should just keep to themselves and not pretend to be something else and we'd all be good.

Liam Collens's avatar

Nice work :)

Andy Lynes's avatar

I agree the fuck out of this.

Nadia Chaudhury's avatar

lol

Jackie Bryant's avatar

It’s that time of the publishing cycle again!!!!! (This is wonderful lol)

Tales on the Table's avatar

Awkward from where I sit, because I have neither. No kitchen years, no journalism school. Seven years in corporate banking and then a lot of reading.

Of the two, I miss the second one more. Anyone can learn to describe a dish. Knowing how to check a claim, or how to tell when someone is managing you, is the part I'm still building.

Nicholas Gill's avatar

More awkward because it’s clearly satire!

Tales on the Table's avatar

I know! But journalism school plus twenty-five years of reporting is the strongest possible answer to that kind of gatekeeping. From out here it's still a list of things I haven't done, yet.

Nicholas Gill's avatar

It really doesn’t have to be one or the other. There’ no straight line to becoming a great food writer, or a great cook for that matter. There are lots of ways to get there. The more points of view the better. This story is meant to show the absurdity of someone else defining what you can or cannot do.

Coffee Axis Living's avatar

I agree - but I also strongly disagree. Let me explain. I've written about food in South America. But I go to the actual market plaza (regardless of unsafe streets or whatever) to buy the fresh ingredients we use at home versus the safe supermarket with horrible quality that costs double. I've gone to butchers and had them vacuum pack cuts of meat for aging, paid half and left it in their meat locker for a month. I've learned to make certain dishes out at farms where most of the food culture comes from. Sure, you have to have knowledge of how it was made right? But - anyone who has worked as a waitress or cook at some point in their lives (I've done waitressing and bartending in the US), or who has taken the time to learn how to cook for themselves is going to have an intelligent opinion about food. Remember, Lobster was fed to the poor before it ever became classy. So many food trends come and go - no one can ever really be an informed expert in everything. Also - you use the language BLOGGER. Anyone who identifies as a blogger is a low level grifter. Once you use the title journalist/correspondent - you are held to a much higher standard and responsible for what you say. So....I agree with the essence, but with certain exceptions and details noted.

Nicholas Gill's avatar

You do realize this is satire, right? 😬

Coffee Axis Living's avatar

ummm - ha ha ha

Nicholas Gill's avatar

Regardless, I appreciate the detailed comment :)

Coffee Axis Living's avatar

I'm a foodie through and through - it's part of my family culture, and when I travel the flavors are what makes it real. Thanks for your satire!